It has been a few intense weeks and somehow I never got around to updating. So, bullet point time for the situation – it is about a month off the meds now
- over the last days tending towards the manic. Probably because of lots of light which always makes me feel less depressed, but ups the hyper-ness.
- Sleep: rather bad. I can get more than 3 hours of continuous sleep only taking my anti-allergy meds, I don´t have any other sleeping meds at the moment. Trying to not take the allergy meds not more than twice a week because I am afraid they´ll lose their efficiency. It is just too precious to have something which makes you reasonably drowsy but not completely messed up the morning after.
- OCD: Getting a bit worse all over. Nothing really crazy, but stuff out of order starts really to bother me again.
- Emetophobia: Not perceptibly worse, I was feeling nauseous a few times and took something for it, but didn´t panic particularly.
- Social Phobia: Holding up well. Had guests last week, and while I was a bit nervous and stressed from time to time, it did not compromise the positive experience of having those friends staying at my place. Which I am very grateful for! It has to be said that it was not a stressful visit, because the friends are very understanding, uncomplicated and give me space to “recover” when needed 😀
- Agoraphobia: It has gotten a bit more difficult to force myself to go out in “crowd” situations. I am not giving in though.
- General Anxiety: Somewhat worse. I do find myself quite often all tensed up and breathing shallowly, until now though it has been manageable with deep breathing and conscious relaxation. No real panic attacks, I sure hope it stays that way.
- Self-Control: A bit worse over the last week, have eaten a lot more than necessary. Still better than on the meds though. Finger nails are bitten down to the quick.
- Procrastination: Not significantly better.
- Creativity: Stalling over the last week due to lots of other activities
- General Health: A bit worse. Intestines were better under meds, also, joints ache much more now. No increased headache until now, fortunately, not even under PMS. Period extremely regular.
All in all, things seem positive, I really can´t complain. I need to increase physical exercise, which should help with the anxiety. And eat less. For the rest, I just hope the manic stuff doesn´t get worse.